Growing up, I did not have a father figure to guide me or teach me how to be a good father. Unlike my daughter, when God blessed me with a son, I believed that being “hard” was the best method of teaching him. I tried to make him act like a man, think like a man, and be a man before becoming one. It is indeed true; girls mature faster than boys. Of course, I wanted my son to become more than I was, to accomplish more than I ever accomplished. I had my hopes and dreams for him. However, I learned that I could not force my dreams upon him; he had to find his way. I did not readily come to that realization; it was not easy for me. It took my son almost dying in a car accident for me to realize that what mattered more was not him being a man but him living long enough to become one. Don’t sweat the small stuff when it comes to your children, no matter how old they are. Give them space and grace to be who they are, not who we want them to be. Pray, asking God to manifest His will and purpose in their lives.
If your child is alive, be grateful. If your child has graduated high school, be thankful. If your child has earned a degree, is working and sustaining themselves, be grateful. All of us are a work in progress. As a parent, the best thing you can do for your child is teach them while they are teachable, but as they grow, give them the grace and space to just be, and trust God to do the rest.